You'll Miss Your Chance
by PumpkinOnTheEdge
Summary: Sirius shook his head when he saw him. "You'll miss your chance, if you don't take it tonight." One-Shot


He had memorized the sway of her hips, the sound of her breath, the soft scent of peppermint that traced small circles on her wrists. He noted each freckle, each mole, the birth mark behind her left ear. He could announce her birthday with the sunrise, brew her perfect cup of tea, count the minutes it took her to fall asleep on the library couch. He knew the books she read in the kitchen, the ones she snuck up to her bedroom when she thought no one watched her, and the ones that made her brows furrow.

He knew that Sirius watched him with a twinkle in his eye, a question mark turned to insistence, turned to impatience. He had never been so enraptured by a woman. He stood at the corner of the room, in the shadow of the things that haunted him.

Sirius shook his head when he saw him.

"You'll miss your chance, if you don't take it tonight."

He knew that better than anyone and yet the moments ticked by, his fists buried in the pockets of his robe. It was unfair to unleash anything upon a woman days before her wedding. Unfair to fill her mind with impossible ideas, silly fantasies. Unfair to her. Unfair to him.

He watched Sirius move past him and shake his head.

He watched Hermione eye him and shake her head.

Harry moved in next to him. "She'll be gone before you know it," he said.

Did they know the thoughts in his head: the lewd ones, the simple ones, the perfect ones? Did they know he dreamt of her fingers, of her whispers, of her hair splayed out across his pillow.

She came to him from the crowd gathered around her. She rested her hands on her hips. He saw chocolate in her eyes, porcelain in her skin, strawberries in her hair. "You've been avoiding me, Remus."

He stiffened, forced a smile, gave light to his eyes, or so he hoped. "I'm sorry, Ginny. You've been very busy with-"

"You've been avoiding me. Come on, Walk with me."

She offered him her hand and pulled him into the dark of the evening. He could see the waning moon above his head, hear the crickets. A lightning bug landed on his forearm, flashed it's golden bulb, and disappeared into the night.

"I've been wondering why you haven't come to give your congratulations, Remus. It's not like you."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Hermione told a story about how you weren't feeling well, but I don't believe that. The Remus Lupin I know, once woke up from a full moon to travel 200 miles to ensure I hadn't done more than twist an ankle on the Quidditch Pitch."

"Gin, I-"

"So I want you to tell me what is going on Remus. You've looked nothing but sad since the moment I arrived. Have I don't something wrong?"

"No, You've done everything right," he said.

"Then what is it?"

He moved closer to her, closing the gap between them, stepping beyond propriety and into the haze of the beating in his chest He would ruin her and she would hate him. His fingertips graced the bottom of her chin, his thumb trailed light down her lips. She would slap him, should slap him.

He moved with the power of no god nor muse. For once, the wolf remained silent. His lips graced hers, tugging at her bottom lip before coming back for the top. His fingers weaved their way through her hair, tangling in the flames. He pulled her closer and breathed her in.

"I'm not Lily," she said.

Her words tore through him, from chest to to navel and lodged in his throat. He choked. "I never wanted you to be. Bloody hell, Gin. Why would you think-?"

He felt her small fists grip his shirt, felt her eyes shift to his. They stood silent. He heard her breath in his ears, felt her heartbeat in his chest.

"I always thought you- when you looked at me I thought-"

He resisted he urge to kiss her, to swallow her whole, to draw out the angst that settled in her eyes. He resisted his urge to run, to sequester himself in his own private hell.

His voice rose barely above a whisper. "No. Never. Never Lily, Only you."

He is trapped by the small hand that grips his shirt tighter. He is startled by the feeling of her lips pressed against his, her hands in his hair. The anxiety that filled his lungs slips from him, the tension dissolved.

"Remus," she whispered.

He found it hard to know if he held her or she held him. He stopped thinking, stopped seeing anything but the sight in front of him. Her kisses spread down his chin, up to his ear, back to his lips.

"You're getting married." He said.

"I don't have to."

"Gin-"

"Then marry me, Remus and we'll have your wedding."

He laughed and stepped back. He had no words for a girl like her. "You're absolutely ridiculous. That's absolutely ridiculous."

She nodded, her eyes moving back to his. Her hand reached out for his, the seriousness returned. "I won't marry him if you ask me not to."

He had called them morals. He had called them propriety. He called them his curse. "I can't do that, Gin."

"You can,"she insisted.

Remus shook his head. "I won't. Not if you love him. You and-"

"Ernie, Remus. His name is Ernie."

He called those pressing thoughts perverted, lustful. "Yes, well you and Ernie deserve your happiness. I- It wasn't fair of me to-"

"You had every right, Remus, to do exactly what you wanted."

He had hated himself for every moment, "Gin-"

"Remus, I'm not going to -"

But now, he called them self-pity. "Don't marry him," he said. "Please."

She smiled softly and let a breath escape pursed lips. "Ok."


End file.
